Perhaps I am frustrated by relativism and incompleteness
because I am so used to thinking in terms of causality. Whether I really admit
to it or not, I seem to believe that throughout life we develop - evolve - into becoming wiser...better…
greater...
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| http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/ blog/2013/02/the-blind-faith-needed-in-evolution/ |
Without realizing it, perhaps I do have a sense of evolution
built into my expectations about life. It is frustrating when I do not see the
lines, do not see progress, do not see knowledge built upon knowledge to lead
to something: something better, deeper, or even perhaps greater. Maybe my whole
model of thinking is futile, futile because it is unreal.
I do not believe
in evolution; I admit there are variations within the species, but no macroevolution.
So why would I anticipate a growth towards something else, something more
advanced, something beyond what I already am in my make-up? Now, that is an interesting perspective.
I am who I am, and I am surrounded by eternity in time and
infinity in space.
As who I am, I mature. Maturity is fruit ripening; the
metaphoric image of a tree and natural growth of its fruits shows the life
process. I can never creep out of my own skin. I don’t mean to sound
fatalistic, because we do have responsibility for how we live. Still, there is
a great peace in the very concept that I simply am.
I am also a
Christian; I became a Christian in my teenage years, so, yes: I have changed
fundamentally in one sense. I have a new beginning, new life, new spirit – one
that connects with God. But also in this I simply am. It is not a path where I shall become something else, although
I am prone to think that way.
I often tell myself: God is.
That is the reason for my being. God defines me. I believe that, but do I act
upon it? Sometimes, yes. But – before long I am back into thinking causality,
movement, change, betterment, and act upon an undefined evolutionary attitude
to life.
Will I ever learn? Probably not.
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