My Voice Is Not Silent

My voice is not silent. No, I voice it more than ever. It is my audience that has changed.

I pray.

I come to the risen Christ, the ruler of heaven and earth. I come to the triune God, the only God - from eterity and to the end of ages - huddling under the protective wings of the one who covers me: Christ Jesus.

Ora et labora, said the monks of old. I pray as I work. My chores are also a voice; they speak. I mumble prayers about all things, as they come to mind. Pray without ceasing, says Paul. I guess I do; prayer is not a chore to remeber. It is like breathing. It comes, it is part of the daily life. 

At times I go to the little chapel, which my husband lovingly calls St. Anne’s Chapel, and I use a prayer book from the Greek Orthodox tradition. These prayers help me to be humble, to focus on the greatness of God and his mercy, to not take my forgiveness for granted, but to examine myself and come before the King of Kings with my own confessions. I am led in praise and adoration of the only liberator: the risen Christ.

I have a lot to say to Him - and believe me: I fuss and complain. I urge Him to deal with impossible people and situations, to renew my local world in the faith… and he listens.

I know that this little hut on the property is the mightiest house around here, the place of true power and influence. I entreat God for my friends, for all the people love. May He guide us and guard us. May He live in and and through us. May His name be great among us.

Sometimes I have a companion in this little prayer house. We sing together. We read some from thr Bible. We pray.

Most of the times when we pray together, it happens in the living rooms, the kitchen, on the brink of bedtime - any room, any time - 

God’s Holy Spirit has worked on my heart for a long time to call me into prayer. Well, as I Christian, I always prayed, at least from time to time, but I thought I had something to say to my fellow human beings, and I can be rather opinionated. However, I realized that my utterings were like soap bubbles in the wind. Perhaps someone liked them, but in the end they simply wore out, burst and became insignificant. My public statements would not change much. 

I suppose it hurt my little ego to realize that I was not partiularly powerful, that my statements and opining did not make much of an impact. But that is not why I stopped. I can still say whatever I think is important; no one stops me. God is not putting any tape over my mouth to gag me. The thing is, that if I really care, if I really wish to see change in people’s lives, in our community, in our country, I run to the One who has the power to make such changes, and He has the wisdom to do it right. 

I believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit - One God. 

Through prayer he changes my heart. His Holy Spirit works in his own gentle ways, using the Word of God, containing the testimonies of God revealing himself to people through different times and places, the teachings of his apostles and the direct revelation of Himself in the person of Jesus Christ. 

Now, if God can change a heart like mine, there is hope for anyone;)

If anyone gets the impression that I now am this quiet, humbly smiling saint, I must disappoint you. There are times to speak, to be direct, to challenge, to interact. The living Christ lives in me, and if he so sees it fit, he will use  my life, my mouth, to reach others with his message. Now, this is a mystery, for I am under no spell or compulsion, but I am challenged to be willing.

As I said, my voice is not silent. 

God has called me in to his presence, to be with Him in prayer. 

So, he starts with my heart, and I know he will change others to the blessings of all.