Unspoken Requests

 

The lake 

As I move through minutes of the day and sense the heavy load I carry, I pause and stare at the glittering spot on the lake where some sunrays play innocently on water ripples. They dance like shiny golden buckets. They spread warmth in my body, and I thank God for the beauty of the moment.

I mumble to God often – sometimes more structured, but often as I am in the process of doing something when I pray. I have no need to instruct God, the King of the Universe, in what to do or how to fix things. I have no need for stuff. I need His presence; I need to rely on His strength for the day.

Some of my plagues are simply aches and pains – physical stuff. I can deal with that; well, on occasion I take a pain killer in order to sleep. But more heavy are the burdens I carry for others, because I love, and a loved one suffers. Life is complicated.  What can I do? Of course I mention something from the bundle of despair to the One who always hears, but more often I carry it in my heart, without words. Still I know the Holy One knows, and He answers in His time.

A ten minute walk up the hill

I am surrounded by a massive sea of green in all shades, and I marvel at the variety of greens in the forests. Although my favourite colour is blue, I find green most soothing. I bathe in pockets of life sustaining beauty, and they are always there, emerging like small friends to comfort me. God’s comfort is not only in his Holy Word, but also in his created nature environment.

I did not ask for an answer, but He answered me, still. I am scheduled to share some thoughts on a passage of Scripture this coming Monday, and as I worked on the preparations, I saw it. Jesus was reading from Isaiah 61 in a synagogue in Nazareth, and he told his fellow townsmen that he was the fulfillment of the prophecy he read. Indeed, he is. For he was sent by God to proclaim a good message for the poor, to set prisoners free, to give sight to the blind, to free the ones who are repressed, and to proclaim God’s mercy. We are talking about levels of life which are deeper than politics; we are talking emotional and spiritual oppression – where Jesus breaks the bonds; we are talking about a total lack of ability to see light and truth, where He can give new sight; he knows we are fundamentally poor – despite our material wealth and comfort: what we do not have is what determines our poverty. And we do not have a life with God apart from what Jesus can give us. Grace abounds, and we have hope for the future, not only for the ones who struggle, but also for me.

There is a sweet sorrow from missing my mother, but I do not grieve for her. I have had my nights in solitude, where I found the time to cry a bit, but it is not the sad and sorry cry, but tears for completing bonds beyond time. I love my mother and always will. Also her memory is a beauty of strength, and I treasure it.

God’s comforting is in the evening breeze, like a gentle touch on my face and in my hair. For He is there, and He cares for me.